This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.